A Christmas Story

 She’d only gone in for carrots and sprouts
 (She’d heard they were 29p
 For the festive period, not bad at all
 Thought she’d have some with her tea
  
 She crept through giant tinsel
 A neon flashing Hell
 American accents on repeat
 Wailed a jazzed-up “Jingle Bells”
  
 Vision blurred, she weaved around
 Mountains of swaying crates
 Of Christmas tree–shaped biscuit tubs
 Blocking all escape
  
 A life-sized blow-up Santa Claus
 Rubbing himself, growled “HoHoHo!
 Get into the spirit or else! 
 (I see everything you know)”
  
 A furry reindeer with a nodding head
 Somehow knew her name
 “Your life is shit but you can spend your way
 Out of the guilt and shame…
  
 ..Participate,” he sneered,
 Don’t let down the team.”
 THEY’RE TRYING TO BAN CHRISTMAS!
 A pile of newspapers screamed
  
 Then a plastic Jesus, from his box
 Beckoned as she tried to leave
 Whispering, “Overturn the tables, Go on!
 This is a Den of Thieves.”
  
 She pushed down the displays
 Maybe three or four
 Sparkly products were strewn all
 Across the aisle floor
  
 Packs of plastic mistletoe
 A chocolate nativity scene
 ”Sexy Santa dresses”
 A child began to scream….
  
 Feeling a little better
 She went to push one more,
 And a kind but tired security man
 Led her to the door