Poem for Love Your Pet Day 2020

You trip me up upon the stairs
Lace my chair with mud and hair
Rip the carpet almost bare
Then look at me and purr
 
Your food costs me 12 quid a week
You scratch me when I try to sleep
You’re on the table when I eat
But you do have pretty fur
 
Now you’re old you piss on the floor
Up the skirting and cupboard doors
Neglect to wash your dirty paws
But you are so very soft
 
When you yawn your breath is smelly
You dig your claws into my belly
You destroyed my favourite wellies
But I could not be cross
 
You dig up all my flower beds
Tear my papers into shreds
Walk on me when I’m in bed
You drive me round the bend
 
The garden’s one big litter tray
You’ve driven all the birds away
But I love you anyway
My little furry friends