A Christmas Story

She’d only gone in for carrots and sprouts
(She’d heard they were 29p
For the festive period, not bad at all
Thought she’d have some with her tea

She crept through giant tinsel
A neon flashing Hell
American accents on repeat
Wailed a jazzed-up “Jingle Bells…”

Dear Alchohol

Dear Alcohol
We have had a long and bumpy relationship, but thank you for the haze. The half-oblivion when total oblivion seemed attractive.
We’ve had trial separations before, I know. But this time it feels different…


Blow me! I’ve reached half a century
And the devil still ain’t sent for me
I wonder if this is how it’s meant to be
Just me and a skip full of memories?..


We went to pick blackberries up in the woods
With a plastic bowl each and our old welly boots
But the berries were smaller than in previous years
And you said, ”We’ll not find the best ones ‘round here…”